Feb 17, 2018
Originally published on February 17, 2018 11:37 am
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Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like a play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAITWAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website, There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming shows in Hartford, Conn., on March 15 and Columbus, Ohio, on April 5, and at Wolf Trap just outside Washington, D.C., on July 19.

Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

MICHAEL: Hey, there. This is Michael from Boston, Mass.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in Boston - my old stomping ground?

MICHAEL: It's been good. It's a nice, warm, balmy 40, 50 degrees.

SAGAL: Yeah, I know. Remember winter? Wasn't that fun? What do you do there in Boston?

MICHAEL: I'm a musician.

SAGAL: Oh, really. How excellent. There are a lot of them around there. What do you play?

MICHAEL: I play trombone.

FAITH SALIE: Are all trombones slide trombones?



MO ROCCA: No, some are stick. And some are automatic.


SAGAL: Welcome to the show, Michael. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you will be a winner. You ready to play?


SAGAL: All right. Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: While violets are blue, roses red, by this Valentine's drink I'm misled. My whipped cherry mocha is not a love stoka (ph). It made me quite lousy in...

SAGAL: Rhymes with red, rhymes with led.


SAGAL: Bed, yes.



SAGAL: Very good.



SAGAL: So this week, Starbucks released a new drink for Valentine's Day - the dark chocolate cherry mocha - claiming it was filled with, quote, "love in every sip." But nutritionists argue otherwise, saying that the drink's combination of sugar, caffeine and dairy products are terrible for hormone levels, effectively killing your sex drive. So if you do buy their Valentine drink, the only one calling out your name that day will be the barista.


LIZ MIELE: Wait, it was - what was the deadly combination?

SAGAL: It was a deadly combination.

MIELE: Sugar?

SAGAL: It was sugar, caffeine and...

MIELE: Caffeine and...

SAGAL: ...Dairy - apparently those are bad for you.

MIELE: I was going to say, you mean...

SALIE: It's like every dessert.

MIELE: ...Every drink gets - yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah, I know.

ROCCA: Every drink I have at Starbucks, I ask for whip and drizzle.


SALIE: Do you really?

ROCCA: I do because I love, like, just - whether it's a hot drink or a blended drink - to put whipped cream and then drizzle some chocolate or caramel on it. I say I want the whip and drizzle.


MIELE: I think that would be your drag name.


SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: I'm impulsive - yes, I'm not the scared sort. Our Vegas trip keeps the affair short. At the first baggage claim, I am taking his name. Our marriage takes off at the...

MICHAEL: Airport.

SAGAL: Yes, airport.


SAGAL: So this one happens to you all the time. You're on this cross-country flight. The woman next to you can't stop talking about her grandkids. It's kind of annoying at first, but a couple hours later, you're entranced, and you decide you need to marry her as soon as you land. Now you can. At McCarran Airport in Las Vegas, they have just opened a marriage license bureau at the first baggage carousel.


MIELE: I mean, the metaphor - baggage.

SAGAL: I know.


MIELE: I just feel like it's, like, you lost - your baggage got lost...

SAGAL: Yeah.

MIELE: ...And you don't have your charger. Your phone died. And you're, like, well, what else is there to do? I might as well just marry someone. You know what I mean? Because...

SAGAL: Yeah.

MIELE: Yeah. I think it's, like, a last resort to, like, well, I don't have any pictures to show. I might as well bring someone home.

SAGAL: Exactly.


SAGAL: All right, Michael. Here is your last limerick.

MICHAEL: My love life just got a big shakeup. My heart needs to tenderly wake up. This women's retreat puts me back on my feet - a boot camp to help with my...

MICHAEL: Breakup.

SAGAL: Breakup.




SAGAL: It's called - and I love this - The RENEW Breakup Bootcamp. And it puts the you go, girl into Marsha, you've got to go to the woods and get over it, girl.


SAGAL: This is a camp that promises women who are getting over an ended relationship the chance to, quote, "rewire their hearts through healing activities like counseling and yoga and roundtable discussions of your ex's physical shortcomings."


MIELE: I think that's just a place without service, so you don't text them.

SAGAL: Really?

MIELE: That's just - that's what it sounds like.

SAGAL: Weirdly enough, that is actually one of the things. It's out in the woods, and you have to unplug.

SALIE: Yeah.

SAGAL: So you can't, like, Instagram stalk your ex and see what he's up to - and to keep you from watching weird movies on his Netflix account to screw up his recommendations.

MIELE: Yeah, yeah.


SAGAL: Bill, how did Michael do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got them all right.

SAGAL: Congratulations...

KURTIS: Three and 0.

SAGAL: ...Michael.


SAGAL: Thanks for playing.


TAYLOR SWIFT: (Singing) We are never, ever, ever getting back together. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.